“Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.”
~ THE INTELLIGENT HEART by David & Bruce McArthur
Today’s Exercise
• My goal in saying yes to WITH Forgiveness is…
• My greatest challenge to being forgiving is…
• My most powerful experience with forgiveness was…
• My definition of forgiveness is…
Today’s Affirmation
Today, I say yes to forgiving.
I commit to being for-giving love and for-giving compassion in all areas of my life.
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Leave A Reply (10 comments So Far)
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PamelaPappas
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Sheri Rosenthal
I know that is a tough concept to swallow. But think about this Pamela. When two little kids are playing and one hits the other or takes a toy – the other cries. But then in a few minutes they are playing again and happy. But meanwhile the two mothers are pissed because of what just happened. The children did not judge each other. They don’t need to forgive – they live in the moment and respond to the moment. Now that the moment is gone – so are the tears. We have to learn to be resentful, angry and hold grudges. Once we have internal dialogue in place – around 4 years old the process begins and it is down hill from there on! 🙂
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PamelaPappas
Dear Sheri,
Thank you for sharing your story here. This concept of personal human point of view vs absolute truth is a little challenging. Maybe it’s a little like one of those 3-D pictures where you go from seeing a confusing design, to suddenly finding a whole new thing once your eyes focus correctly. I like the idea that true can only be experienced, but never described. We’re all the time acting on our personal perceptions, which by definition are only partial.
My question: how did you get to that point at the Grand Canyon, where all your hurt and resentment just left? That’s where I want to be . . . but maybe that’s the point of this course. 🙂
Aloha,
Pam-
Sheri Rosenthal
Dear Pamela,
We can learn to look further than our own perspective – it takes practice but it can be done. Even if we don’t see the whole virtual reality, just moving past a “point” of view is an accomplishment and can bring great compassion and understanding. As for the Grand Canyon – I had been re-writing the story of my relationship with my mom and as I was walking all of a sudden a wave of emotion came over me and I remember what I was thinking. The thought form said that my childhood was filled with grief and anguish and it was time to let it go. Then a conflicting thought form said – no that is ridiculous I don’t have any grief and anguish! But the emotion kept coming and I realized I was simply letting go of the very last piece of pain around my story. Once that was over and incredible wave of love and compassion for my mom came in. And that was wonderful. 🙂
xoxoxoxoSheri
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RebeccaJoseph
Dear Sheri,
I am beginning to get the STORY thing. The continued reminders the ego mind wants us to be held captive to. The STORY is not truth. I talked to my Mom this weekend. Very enlightening for me. Lots more work to do, but healing is on the horizon.
Your forgiveness sharing about your Mom and the moment of release at the Canyon…I could feel it!
I felt when I had the precious time with my Dad before he died, and that peace remains. oxoxoCan’t wait to start my homework, to look deep and explore my heart and soul…I’m ready for a quiet mind, absence of judgement, and thoughts of unworthiness…looking forward to setting myself free with forgiveness!
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Sheri Rosenthal
Excellent – I can’t wait to hear what you mom actually shared with you! Her story – yes another story – but one that definitely expands the perspective.
xoxoSheri
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EvelynLynch
How do you let go of the anger because I know what you are saying is true but my mind is hearing it but my heart is not feeling it. How can you tell if you are not just covering your anger and hurt and pretending that you have forgiven ? I seem to need to hold onto it for some reason , Why?Love Vee
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Sheri Rosenthal
Vee, the human body works like this. We perceive, we judge, we emote, and then we go into reactive behavior. You are angry because the THOUGHT FORM that is proceeding the anger is the issue – not your anger. Your Anger is the correct response to your thought. So what needs to change is the STORY you have about that person. Once that changes you won’t be angry. But I am going to guess that you kind of like your story and like most of us you really like being right (I know the feeling!). 🙂
We are going to work on this Vee – but a good assignment for you would be to write in your journal the story you are telling yourself about this person. That way – when we talk about it we have it all written down and ready. Okay?
xoxoxSheri
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KathleenHanagan
Thanks so much Sheri for your candid sharing. Looks as if I am the first to respond, and wanted to check in with your work as I am recommending it to my tribe.
I shifted my ancient anger toward my Dad long ago, as you did with your mother, and lo and behold, I am a happier and far more helpful person now than ever. So much to say about forgiveness. Here is one of my favorite quotes: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the flower leaves on the heel of the one that crushed it.”
May this be a life changing course for many.
Love,
Kathleen-
admin
Dear Kathleen,
Gosh that is such a beautiful quote on forgiveness – thank you so much for sharing it! I thank you too for sharing that you took the time and honored yourself deeply enough to forgive your father and set both yourself and him free. What a gift! You are a blessing to the world Kathleen, and I for one and glad to know such a wonderful woman warrior!
All my love, Sheri
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Sheri,
I have re-listened and re-read these notes — and am struck by one thing you said: “Forgiveness simply is not necessary unless you have judged.” Whoa.
Someone said to me this evening that he “forgave” me. It felt condescending, since I didn’t know what I had done. Then I remembered your statement (above) and it made sense why I would feel that way. I also thought about my own attitudes, and why it’s been so difficult to “forgive” certain things that have happened to me at the hands of others. Owning the fact that I have judged (or am still judging) is painful — and also hopefully a pathway to letting this go.
Thank you very much for this lesson!
Pam